I ka pule i hala, ua haʻi wau i kekahi o nā kumu hāʻule ka pāpaho many marketers was because we haven't identified the magic algorithm. I still don't think there is a magic algorithm… but after this week, I can point to one of the special traits of social media. It's vulnerability.
The next section is sort of personal… so if you feel it's a bit much, then jump to the section following it!
E pili ana i ka nalo o kuʻu tūtū
ʻOno mahina kēia. I mau pule i hala aku nei, ua kanu wau i kahi hoa aloha mai ke kula kiʻekiʻe. A i nehinei, ua kanu mākou i ka makuakāne ʻohana a ʻo ke kāne aʻu i kapa ʻia ai ka inoa, koʻu kupuna kāne, Douglas Morley. I know many folks have some incredible grandparents… but my grandfather was quite a unique person. He enlisted in the Canadian Royal Army and served in World War II. He was an explosives expert, was commissioned and retired at the rank of Captain. In a time when it wasn't quite popular, he chose to marry a beautiful blonde Jewish woman – my Grandmother, Sylvia.
My grandmother was an unique, strong woman as well. Until her death in 2003, she was the quiet matriarch of the family. While my grandfather served throughout Europe, my grandmother grew a successful company – quite unheard of at that time. My grandfather worshipped my grandmother…. and I don't say that lightly. When my grandfather lost his wife after 58 years of a beautiful marriage, he wrote that ua ʻoki ʻia nā ʻeheu nāna i kōkua iā ia e lele i kona ola holoʻokoʻa. I'm not sure that I've ever witnessed a man who was so unconditionally, unselfishly devoted to his wife.
As her health failed, every chance to wait on my grandmother was jumped on by my grandfather. He never hesitated – even with his own back problems and health issues. When things got really tough, he put her in a hospice. Days after, he didn't like how she was being cared for and set up a room back home. He was by her bedside day and night. He had folks come in to do her nails and hair, too. It was nothing short of amazing.
At the funeral, I met many people that my grandfather had touched. Like a gardener who didn't speak English that took care of my grandfather's home. I never knew that my grandfather had financed the man's business. I met his caretaker, an African American woman who cried over his coffin and told me that she had never felt more loved by any person. I met his Rabbi, who he continued to study with after my grandmother passed (even though he remained a Protestant). There were folks from all over the world that either came or sent their condolences. The Masons came and gave their ceremonious aloha i kahi kaikunāne. Ua hele mai kekahi lālā o ka Legion ʻAmelika a hoʻomana i kekahi koa kahiko i nalowale mai ka hanauna nui loa.
Ua kanu ʻia koʻu kupuna kāne i kona ʻaʻahu ʻaʻahu ... a ʻo ka mea hoʻomakeʻewa mau nō, ua kanu ʻia ʻo ia me kahi kīpuka puka āna i noi ai i ka hanana i ala aʻe ʻo ia (ua haʻi ʻo ia i kāna moʻopuna kāne e uea ʻo ia e hele wale i ka wā o kaʻu Ua kipa aku ʻo Māmā i ka ilina!). Ma hope o ka pāʻani ʻana o ka ʻeke ʻeke E mālama ke akua i ka Mōʻī wahine a ʻO ka hope hope… Ua ʻā ka ʻeke ʻeke me kahi hoʻoliʻiliʻi kupaianaha o Hava Nagila. Ua hauʻoli mākou a pau a ʻakaʻaka hoʻi, ua heleleʻi nā waimaka a pau ... a ʻakaʻaka mākou a pau a hoʻomaikaʻi i kahi kāne kupaianaha.
I'm not sure anyone has had such a strange and wonderful tribute given to them. It's important to note that my Mom, who unselfishly cared for him day and night these last few years, planned this incredible fairwell.
E hoʻi i ka pāpaho pāʻoihana
When I wrote that my grandfather passed on Facebook, hundreds of people took the time to comment. I received a deluge of emails, text messages, tweets, phone calls and personal notes. I haven't participated much since then… the family is key right now and supporting my Mom (an only child) has been the focus of my attention. My clients, friends, and followers have all been so supportive of my manawa hoʻomaha from being social. Words can't express how blown away I've been from you folks. Thank-you.
I'm not writing any of this for empathy or sympathy… I just wanted to follow up when I could and share with you folks why I've been quiet. I believe my grandfather's life needs shared and celebrated, not mourned.
As well, it's made me understand what may be so special about social media. I've always had a rough time with the word Ke komo… it's beginning to sound premeditated and manufactured. ʻO ka wikiwiki isn't the same as engagement. Engagement happens between two willing parties… vulnerability happens when one party simply opens themselves up to the other. Vulnerability can also open you up to scorn, ridicule and possible criticism. But more importantly, vulnerability opens you up to connecting on a level with your audience that no other means of communication could provide. Being vulnerable can't be written into any marketing script.
That's what is so special about social media.